When Attitudes Change

"Is Halloween evil?" That's the question posed and discussed on our daughter C. Beth's blog yesterday. It's a great question that will keep stimulating discussion long after this year's sugar highs are over. Beth discussed her own metamorphosis on the issue, then referred to Cathy and me, "Interestingly, my parents don't think it's a terrible holiday anymore either."

That brings up an important topic. Is it okay for a person's attitudes to change on a subject so centered on the eternal conflict of Light and Darkness?

Well, obviously, people can change opinions almost as quickly as ping pong balls skip back and forth across the net. But, when is it appropriate? I will take a stab at a few questions we can ask ourselves. Hopefully, they will help.

1. Is my current opinion consistent with my other views on life?

Beth correctly pointed out that we had changed our mind. Why? First, because we were inconsistent. We were rejecting Halloween because of its history in paganism, but we weren't rejecting Christmas for the same reason. Yes, Christmas has it's December 25th roots in a pagan celebration.

But there is another inconsistency. On the one hand, we were trying build up bridges to engage our culture with the love of Christ. The more we embraced legalism, the more we built walls instead. I wrote about the positive side of our changed attitude last year.

2. Is my current opinion firmly grounded in my belief system?

One day a group of religious leaders pushed a woman to the feet of Jesus and said, "She was caught in the act of adultery." (John 8) Their attempt to trap Jesus was a sign of their own hypocrisy. It takes two, you know. Where was the man? If they were interested in righteousness, where was the man? In other words, they were more concerned about pushing their opinion on others than they were dealing with sin.

While a bit humorous, the radio commentator whom Beth mentioned; the one who considered Halloween a Democratic holiday -- because kids get something for nothing -- was just as dangerous as those religious leaders. You see, the religious leaders felt justified (some of them had likely used her services before) because they had paid for their sins by religious acts. What Jesus offered the sinful woman was something for nothing.

For Cathy and me, we came to grips that we are broken, sinful people in a broken sinful world. We can either embrace other sinners as we have been embraced or we can shun them because they don't live up to our religious standard.

3. What is my attitude toward those who disagree with me?

I think this question is very self-revealing. Many years ago, during the same season I went on the warpath against Halloween, I legalistically began driving the speed limit. Then I promptly got mad at every driver who passed me on the highway (which was most of them).

As God continues to do heart surgery on me year after year, I have an observation about my anger. I'm not so sure that I was really angry at those who drove like I used to. I was more angry that I couldn't do it anymore because of my legalistic choice. So much for, "Beloved, let us love one another..." (1 John 4:7)

If you find yourself constantly angry at those who disagree with you, perhaps it's because you aren't fully comfortable with your answers to the first two questions.

All that said, Happy Halloween. Enjoy your candy! I'm pretty much abstaining.

And, no, I'm not angry about it!

In Honor of October 31st

Use your imagination. What if King Kong wore a wedding ring?

If he did, I don't know if he received if from the blonde in the movie.

If he did, the circumference would be large enough to fit his finger. But perhaps the thickness would be more the size of a Bic pen.

If he did, he lost it. On the entry street to the college near my house.

If he did and he lost it there, I found it yesterday morning.

As I was running.

In the dark.

When I stepped into it with one foot.

Then it flipped up and married my other foot at the same time.

I was running at a pretty good clip.

Then...

...splat on the asphalt.

Thanks, King Kong. :(

One At A Time

Part 3

Triage. The word surfaces mental pictures of a disaster-populated emergency room. For some it means hope, but for others it signals despair.

In our saner moments, we objectively think on the scene of triage and acknowledge the wisdom of its implementation. But in other moments, we can be caught in the personal drama going on. The very idea of triage means some some patients will probably live and others will probably die. It means that a medical professional will accordingly choose who gets treatment and who doesn't. Failure to decide could leave the medical staff without the resources and energy to treat anybody. Morbid, don't you think?

Well, I am not a doctor and I don't have to think about medical triage very often. I do, though, face ministry times in which the dishes are stacked on the counter and manpower is stunted by illness, family emergencies or needed rest.

Those are the moments when, as a pastor, I must make tough calls. I must decide which short-range goal needs extension and which can't wait. I must choose whether to push the staff a little harder so we can enjoy a team victory. Or, is it time to delay or cancel something in order to maintain long-term staff health?

Our staff recently went away for a two-day offsite planning retreat. We prayed, worshiped, talked, laughed and -- before it was over -- cried. We made a tough decision which will cost significant time and energy for virtually every staff member. When we arrived back at home, I talked to one of three staff members who will pay the biggest price for the change we are considering. She shared her concern about another member of the team and whether our plan was just too much.

I told her that I am willing to lead us up this steep road. But I'm not willing to destroy the staff in the process. They need their health to face more challenges in the future. That means we may have to slow down some of our lofty dreams to do the dishes. We can't do everything (I hope some other pastors are reading this) but we can choose the best items on our agendas and make the biggest possible difference in the most lives.

In a way, it's ministry triage.

One At A Time

Part 2

Our company had just departed. The evening was fun; our hearts and stomachs were full. The pile of dishes waited like an impatient boss as they sat on the countertop next to the sink. Ugh!

Cathy and I both went into "task mode." This wasn't the time to check email, watch TV or write tomorrow's blog post. It wasn't the time to prop up with a good book. It was time to do dishes and clean up the kitchen. We set about doing the chores quickly, yet methodically. In less than twenty minutes we were done!

Yesterday's story, about a lady who was down in the dumps as she procrastinated about some simple tasks, was true. But it was also a parable. And it gives significant understanding to my recent realities.

I have been under incessant deadlines and pressures. You could say that the week I am behind in sermon preparation (I'm usually 3 weeks ahead; right now it's only 2) is like an unwashed plate on the cabinet. Then there's the planning for dinners we will host as part of a special project -- like a dirty glass. Then the planning for a giving emphasis for our future campus development -- like a crusted baking pan.

Add in the sickness that has at times compressed our staff -- like a dirty bowl. And the death in my assistant's immediate family -- like a stack of silverware. And the associate pastor away for a much-needed vacation -- like a another dinner plate.

Oh, I need to mention the day and a half away for my wife to undergo outpatient surgery (in Phoenix, difficult recuperation, but she's getting much better now) -- like a greasy skillet.

And, to top it all off, we are approaching our largest outreach event of the year this Saturday (Family Fall Festival) -- like a whole stack of dinnerware.

You see, my life can get stacked up just easily as that lady who called her pastor. Yours can, too. And, if we don't stop what we're doing to take care of business, we will probably be "down in the dumps."

Doing of the dishes. Putting life into perspective and avoiding the blues.

That's why I haven't written much on Dwell and Cultivate lately.

Tomorrow, I want to share about it from one more angle; that as a leader.

One At A Time

It's surely oversimplified, but a story I heard has fused itself on my brain for about a quarter century. A pastor I knew told about a lady in his congregation.

The lady struggled with being down in the dumps. Notice that I didn't say "depression" -- I'm certain her ailment was not depression. At least not the clinical type.

Anyway, this lady asked the pastor to come to her home and pray for her. He walked in (I hope he wasn't visiting alone, but that's another story.) and saw that her house was trashed. The lady was very low and she wanted a listening ear.

After a time, he told the lady that he knew how to cure her blues. "How?" she asked.

"I won't tell you unless you promise to follow my instructions."

"I'll try," was her reply.

"Then I won't tell you."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Have I ever given you anything to do that is impossible for you to do?"

"Uh, no," said the lady.

"Then I give you my word that the cure for your problems is within your ability and I will tell you what it is if you promise to do it."

"I'll try," she said again.

He arose to leave. "In that case, I won't tell you."

"But I'll try!" Pleading in her voice.

"No. I won't tell you unless you promise."

Finally, she gave in.

"When I leave, get up and go into your kitchen. Clean up that pile of dishes stacked in the sink. Tonight, call me and tell me three words: 'I did it.' Then I will give you the next step."

Fortunately, the lady followed through with her promise. The pastor gave her a series of small projects that, one-by-one, got her life manageable again. Within a few days, her blues were gone.
...........
In case you're wondering, I haven't been in the blues. However, this story relates to something I can tell you about my recent absence here at Dwell and Cultivate.

I will do that tomorrow.

More Heat Than Light

It has been over thirty years since I opened the door to our little, two-bedroom house. The lady who had walked in kindly invited us to a Bible Study. A series of questions and answers brought several facts to the surface:

1. She was from a church whose beliefs were significantly different than ours.

2. Her church tended to think that they were the only true believers.

3. The fact that I was already a Christian, already an experienced church staff member and finishing my education toward the pastorate meant nothing. I was wrong because I wasn't a part of her brand of church.

I was incensed. I was defensive. In the end, I was rude. I showed her the door and never saw her again.

Today I'm ashamed that I got so angry and acted with such arrogance. If I met her again, I would apologize.

I thought of that lady after yesterday's post. I wondered if I might offend some of you by showing it. I tried to guess your thoughts as to why I included it in my blog.

The truth is that I am not angry at the pastor who will be burning books and Bibles on Halloween. Neither do I think it funny. I just think it's sad.

We live in a world that needs hope. They need the unconditional love which God offers through Jesus Christ. Yet, when some of them think of Christ and His followers this month...

...they will pull out a mental picture of a church burning books.

Drivin' Back The Enemy!

It's rare, but I need to communicate in a different way, today...

Do you think they will want to burn this blog?