When I Don't Understand

If you had asked me 48 hours ago, I would have told you I'd be leaving about now on a journey to California.  This trip has been planned for months and it was special; I was going there to perform a wedding.  My cousin's son (second cousin? first cousin once removed?) is marrying his beloved in the mountains southeast of Sacramento.  Shanna (my cousin) and I grew up together and I performed her wedding to Frank many years ago.  They have often shown love and encouragement to Cathy and me, so it was an honor to perform this ceremony for their son Billy and his bride.

How quickly things change!  Cathy departed early Wednesday to spend some time with her parents.  That night, just as I was falling asleep, I awoke to a feeling of sinus drainage way up inside my nose.  I got up to blow my nose in the semi-dark, then realized that it wasn't normal sinus fluid; it was blood.  Blood on the pillow case, blood dripping on the floor, a tissue full of blood.  I'm not prone to bloody noses, but I had one similar to this about two weeks before.  I mentally reviewed, then took the steps to stop the flow, waited a while, then checked; I was still bleeding.  I walked into the living room, typed with one finger (my other hand was holding my nose shut) and discovered on an internet site that I was responding correctly.  I waited awhile longer; still bleeding.

Finally, not knowing what else I had to do, I got my phone and dialed 9-1-1.  I had to repeat my address three times for the emergency dispatcher to understand me with my nose closed and covered with tissue.  The paramedics came, gave me further instructions, checked my vitals and, after a while, we still couldn't stop the bleeding.  They said I would need to go to the ER at the hospital.  They could call an ambulance, but I could ask a friend if I chose.  I called Tom from our staff and he came right over.  (Bless him!)

At the hospital, the physician told me I just need to apply more pressure.  The bleeding stopped about then and they had me lie there for over an hour, with them occasionally taking care of their normal tests.  The Dr. cauterized a small place just inside my nose and pronounced me ready to go home.  As I was being disconnected from their monitors, I suddenly started bleeding again from way up in my sinuses.  The Dr. returned and I explained to him it was just like the bleeding that woke me up.  He said, "I didn't want to have to do this.  You're not going to like me very much."  He then took a long, tight roll of absorbent material, coated it with saline and shoved it up my nose.  I thought it might just come out through the top of my head (not really!).  Jesus' words about getting the log out of your eye (except this was my nose) came to mind.

This is the way I looked.  I felt even uglier.

By the time I got through Wednesday night, I realized I had a problem.  I couldn't rest but a few minutes at a time.  I was also concerned about the trip scheduled for the next day.  Even before I called my Dr. for a follow-up, I called Shanna to tell her what was going on.  I was shaken by the suddenness of the bleeding as well as not being able to stop it.  I could imagine scenarios on a plane, in a rental car on the highway or in the wedding itself.

My Dr. concurred that I definitely shouldn't travel for 24 hours and that we didn't know if or when it would happen again.  He referred me to a specialist next week.  (I'm not worried about the long-term outcome, just the short-term uncertainty of a nose that might just start bleeding at a horrible time.)

I'm grateful that Shanna's family was able to find another local pastor who would step in and do the wedding.  I'm just sorry that I couldn't be there this weekend.  In questioning times like this, I am drawn back to the amazing relevance of the Scriptures: 5 Trust GOD from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. 6 Listen for GOD's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track. Proverbs 3:5-6 (THE MESSAGE)

Stuttering Crier

Click the "Send" button and your message can be read within seconds...on the other side of the world. Hit speed dial and you can be talking "instantly" to someone in another country...as you both drive along life's highways. Watch earth-shaking news (like the Japanese tsunami) as it happens.

It wasn't always this way. For centuries, one of the readiest forms of transmission for critical news was the "Town Crier." "Oyez, oyez (literally "Listen, listen")!" they would cry in the streets. When print media became more readily available, Criers were replaced by boys hawking papers: "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"

Today, in our "advanced" civilization, we have need of neither Crier nor hawker; we have Twitter. Or Facebook. Or Google Ad Words. I know. I read them. Almost every day. Some of what I read on Easter weekend has me reflecting on why I am a "stuttering crier." Other pastors told of lives being changed in their churches. The reports I read were in awe of the way God is at work. I never sensed anything but reverent joy on their part.

Therefore, on this Easter Monday, I will not stutter. I will boldly proclaim what happened in Stone Ridge Church this past weekend. Only God can accomplish what we saw, so I am joyfully shouting His praises. Here are the highlights...

* 31 people baptized (more are preparing to be baptized soon)

* Almost 1400 in attendance

* Scores of young families came, many for the first time. Young adults keep bringing their friends and God is changing their lives. In turn, they are bringing other friends and the process keeps multiplying.

* We were gripped by the presence of God. In every service. At every baptism. People were giving their hearts to Jesus in the auditorium and out in the courtyard.

Perhaps the final moments of baptism after the last service said it best. Juan, an elderly man who is very ill watched his grandkids being baptized. Juan gave his heart to Christ not long ago. After seeing his family members and others baptized, he told his son, "I have never seen anything like this. I want to be baptized, too!" Because of his medical condition, some of us met on Sunday afternoon to baptize him in the jacuzzi of one of our leaders. As tears flowed, Juan modeled obedience to Christ's command.

Only God!

Christmas At Innermost: Shepherds

Part 5

16 They hurried to the village and found Mary and Joseph. And there was the baby, lying in the manger. 
17 After seeing him, the shepherds told everyone what had happened and what the angel had said to them about this child. 
18 All who heard the shepherds’ story were astonished... 
(Luke 2:16-18 New Living Translation)

Jezreel went back to his sheep...for a time. Everywhere he went, though, he told the story about the angels, the young parents and the Baby in the feeding trough. To be sure, some scoffed when he said, "The Baby will grow up to be our Messiah!" Others, though, pondered his words. 

Finally, one morning, Jezreel spoke to his mother. "I prayed to the Eternal that very night before the angels came. I asked Him to anoint me with the oil of purpose for my life. I have met a wool merchant who works in Jerusalem near the temple. He has offered me a job as his helper. He will provide food and a place to stay. He has heard my story and will give me time to attend Torah classes and study the Scriptures. I will never be a Rabbi, but I can learn. And I can keep telling others about that night!"

Reluctantly, his mother gave him her blessing. Twelve years later, he was studying the Scriptures in a little room at the Temple, when he heard a commotion in the Court of the Israelites. A Boy was in a passionate discussion with the Priests and the Scribes...

To my readers: the events surrounding the birth of Christ are given extensive coverage in Scripture. The parts we don't always know about are the human elements, especially from the viewpoint of Jesus' participants. My attempt this Christmas is to stay true to the Biblical text, while shading in what it may have been like "between the lines." Please distinguish my ruminations from God's Word by reading the first few chapters of Matthew and Luke. My hope is that reading my words impacts you even a tiny percentage as much as writing them has impacted me.

Christmas At Innermost: Shepherds

Part 4

Author's note: at this point in the telling of the Biblical story, one might think that the angels sang one short verse of "To God Be The Glory" and closed the curtain to go about their heavenly duties. While the account itself is brief, try to recall, if you can, a truly compelling worship experience. For instance, I stood in nearly the back row of the upper deck of Anaheim Stadium one night and sang songs of heavenward praise with about 60,000 men. The resounding chorus of male voices and the sense of awe toward the One we worshiped made each song beg to be sung forever! Could it have been any less for the angel choir that night?

.......
Even the sheep seemed deeply content in the presence of heavenly light. To be sure, no work of darkness could penetrate their hillside as the angels sang and shouted and leapt and danced all around them. Much later, the night watchmen tried to describe what they saw. When one said, "They were above us, up as high as the clouds," another would counter, "But they were all around us, as if almost touching the pasture!" Young Jonathan always mentioned, "One of them was right in front of me, then took a giant leap, landing behind me! It was almost as if he went right through me!"

The shepherds had never heard such music. The melodies were so intricate that it was as if they secreted a light of their own. One angelic flute player would run up the scale to a very high trill and literally rise up in the sky with the pitch of his instrument, gradually floating back down to laugh and sing and dance with the others. On and on their chorus rang. The shepherds themselves had begun to laugh and dance and shout and leap just like the angels.

Long into this celebration, an angel began to sing a song that majestically announced the creation of a world. The shepherds felt, rather than understood with their minds, the declaration of light, water, earth, plants, sea creatures, and animals. The music crescendoed to a solemn declaration: "Humans in Our image!" As those words rang out, a renewed celebration broke out among the angelic chorus. They were celebrating God's creation of Man!

In a few moments, though, the sounds became dark. Every angel went from leaping and dancing to quietly singing mournful tones. The shepherds realized the significance and began to weep. The angels themselves were mourning the Rebellion. From this point, the music rose and fell, then rose and fell again, like the growing swells of a sea beset by a storm. Higher and lower they went. Moments of great rejoicing swallowed by moments of intense emotional pain. Then, silence.

Far back in the chorus of angels, a trumpet began to play a single, simple tune. Quickly, the shepherds noticed that it was the same melody that had begun this night of worship. At the end of the first musical phrase, a second unseen trumpet picked up a harmony. A moment later, other horns joined in, then the harps and percussion started adding depth. Angels, who had stood solemnly for a long time, began to move. Later, the shepherds said that it looked like they were shimmering lights that grew in intensity every moment. 

Suddenly, an angel jumped. Then another; and another. The sound, the light and the movement would have terrified someone who came upon them unbidden. But the shepherds were invited! The were shouting, singing, leaping and dancing again! Over and over, with joy they leapt to the sky.

And they realized that they were alone!

The sun was shooting orange streaks on the high clouds in the eastern sky. To the west, the first of the day watch was coming over the crest of the hill.

"What do we do?" cried Jonah. The others added their voices to his question.

Jezreel thought a moment. "Our relief is here. Let us go into Bethlehem now. We will see for ourselves what the angel told us!"

To my readers: the events surrounding the birth of Christ are given extensive coverage in Scripture. The parts we don't always know about are the human elements, especially from the viewpoint of Jesus' participants. My attempt this Christmas is to stay true to the Biblical text, while shading in what it may have been like "between the lines." Please distinguish my ruminations from God's Word by reading the first few chapters of Matthew and Luke. My hope is that reading my words impacts you even a tiny percentage as much as writing them has impacted me.

Christmas At Innermost: Shepherds

Part 3

"Could it be," thought Jezreel, "that the Eternal truly has poured out His oil and has a purpose for me? If so, what is my purpose?"

"The Eternal hears your prayers, Jezreel." The voice was like the sound of a rushing stream. Immediately, the hillside lit up as if it were daylight! The other members of the watch each began jumping to his feet. Jonah was first, holding his staff at the ready. Jonathan, at thirteen, the youngest member of their group, cried out and looked as if he might run away into the night."

"Don't be alarmed," said the man who was completely cloaked in light. "I have come to bring you good news and it will bring you great joy even before this night is over! It is a message, not only for you, but for everyone you meet!"

"Everyone we meet?" Jezreel's thoughts were leaping as fast as his heart. "No one is out here on this hillside except us."

The angel looked at the watch leader with bright, knowing eyes. "This is no ordinary night," he said. "Today in Bethlehem a baby has been born. He has come to save you and your people. He is your Messiah!"

"Messiah?" The shepherds all began to speak at once. "Messiah has come? Where is He? How will we know Him? What if many babies were born in Bethlehem this day?"

"The Eternal has given you a sign as a way to find Him," said the angel. "He has been swaddled in simple cloth and His bed is not in a house, but in the shed where animals are fed. You fill find Him lying in a feeding trough!"

Suddenly, the light all around them intensified and caused them to look toward the sky. They saw for the first time that their messenger wasn't alone. Surrounding him was a great multitude of bright beings, too many to count. They were praising the Eternal. Among them, some were leaping and dancing as they sang a chorus of praise.

"Glory to the Eternal, the Most High! We declare His peace on earth, for He is pleased with the people He as created. Glory! Hallelujah!"

To my readers: the events surrounding the birth of Christ are given extensive coverage in Scripture. The parts we don't always know about are the human elements, especially from the viewpoint of Jesus' participants. My attempt this Christmas is to stay true to the Biblical text, while shading in what it may have been like "between the lines." Please distinguish my ruminations from God's Word by reading the first few chapters of Matthew and Luke. My hope is that reading my words impacts you even a tiny percentage as much as writing them has impacted me.

 

Christmas At Innermost: Shepherds

Part 2

Jonah's snores made Jez smile. "He was tired tonight; he needs this rest. But I will still wake him at the appointed hour. I need rest, too!" The watch leader's thoughts went back to his ancestor David.

"I know that I am but a simple man. I am not a psalmist. I don't play the harp and I don't write great poetry. But have I not used my staff to chase away a wolf? And didn't I send a black bear running down the hillside when I winged him with a stone from my sling?" The memory added to his discouragement.

"I have been faithful, Eternal! Have I not done this work that I despise and cared well for the flock? Please, O Mighty One, rescue me from this field. Or give me an understanding of Your purpose for me here."

Then, from deep in his memory came the familiar words...

"The Eternal is my shepherd; I have everything I need. He makes me lie down in green meadows; He leads me beside a gentle stream. He keeps restoring my soul. He leads me along a righteous path so that I may bring His name honor. Yes, even though I walk through the dark valley overshadowed with death, I fear no evil, for You, Eternal, are with me! It is Your staff that protects and comforts me. You have prepared a feast before me; one that even my enemies notice. You have poured the anointing oil of Your purpose upon my head. My cup is overflowing! Truly, Your goodness and lovingkindness shall trail me every day of life and, when I am through, I will be with You forever!"

"Could it be," though Jezreel, "that the Eternal truly has poured out His oil and has a purpose for me? If so, what is my purpose?"

To my readers: the events surrounding the birth of Christ are given extensive coverage in Scripture. The parts we don't always know about are the human elements, especially from the viewpoint of Jesus' participants. My attempt this Christmas is to stay true to the Biblical text, while shading in what it may have been like "between the lines." Please distinguish my ruminations from God's Word by reading the first few chapters of Matthew and Luke. My hope is that reading my words impacts you even a tiny percentage as much as writing them has impacted me.

Christmas At Innermost: Shepherds

Part 1

After the cloud cover the past few days, the clear sky made the millions of stars look like a tightly woven blanket of light high overhead. It also accentuated the change of seasons; this was the first really cold night of the year. Jez pulled his cloak tighter around him. 

"Perhaps 'hate' is too strong a word," he thought. "Perhaps it is more correct to say I dislike this job and barely endure it, especially when we get stuck with the night watches." 

He looked around at the lumps of blankets where the other six members of his watch slept peacefully. In an hour, he would wake Jonah and get some sleep himself. They were all on duty, but only one had to be alert at this hour of the night. The stirring of the flock would quickly tell the watchman if a predator -- either animal or human -- was creeping in. 

The thoughts continued to creep in like the brisk breeze whooshing down the hillside. "'Why can't you be content as a shepherd?' my mother said. 'Caring for the sheep was good enough for your father and your grandfather and his father before him. Even our ancestor David was a shepherd before the Eternal chose him to be the king of Israel!' Couldn't she see that David left the sheep joyfully? That is how I would leave, too!"

But, here he was. Stuck. Mired in an occupation that always left him wondering if he could find a way out. It didn't matter that he had quickly risen to the leadership of his watch or that the chief shepherd quietly told him that one day he could surely be the leader of them all. He didn't want to be a shepherd!

"Jezreel. They named me Jezreel. Even my name means 'scattered'. Don't they know that my life ambition is to be scattered far from this village?"

Jez looked again at the stars overhead. "O Eternal, You who created the heavens and the earth, I cry out to you. Please deliver me from this hillside and these smelly sheep..."

To my readers: the events surrounding the birth of Christ are given extensive coverage in Scripture. The parts we don't always know about are the human elements, especially from the viewpoint of Jesus' participants. My attempt this Christmas is to stay true to the Biblical text, while shading in what it may have been like "between the lines." Please distinguish my ruminations from God's Word by reading the first few chapters of Matthew and Luke. My hope is that reading my words impacts you even a tiny percentage as much as writing them has impacted me.